Saturday, November 24, 2012

More than the movie

When I went to hear Jay McCarroll speak, I went with a friend who does not sew (but loves Jay, because who doesn't?). One day, she said, maybe she'll have extra minutes in her day again and she'll learn to sew. Right now she has a nine-month-old and a three-year-old. She can't add anything in.

It's so disorienting to be on this side of the "it'll get easier" clause.

(It's also why it took me four years to start to sew. I remember those no-extra-minutes. I spent them all wondering why it takes six months for a baby to cut a tooth, as she is doing now. Those no-extra-minutes were long minutes.)

On the other hand, we had friends over for dinner last night whose younger child is E's age. I think what that must be like, to have six as the youngest. G had moments (very vocal moments) of extreme two-ness and they smiled at him indulgently, as friends do. Why? Because they only have to look at him, and then they go home to a place where the youngest of the children is six. "It'll get easier" lives on a bell curve.

And yet: we entertained last night. We've had guests at least once a month of late for real sit-down and dessert meals. Tablecloths and everything. There was a not so long ago that I couldn't fathom that.

And tonight I went out, coffee and a movie with a friend. No children freaked out at my departure. No husband panicked at it. It was a lovely night out but more valuable to me even than the experience I had was the one I didn't: it wasn't difficult to leave.

For all that I think of our life as a work-in-chaos, it's so fantastic to look across the spectrum of what is and what could be and realize that it has, with fact and circumstance, gotten easier.

[I am shamelessly backstamping this to before midnight to fulfill my NaBloPoMo challenge. Why, you ask? Because I was out past midnight, of course. Glory be to second adulthood!]

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