Friday, July 8, 2011

Dear Teachers,

As you know because you heard about the anticipation of it all day yesterday, the lovely husband's office threw its annual summer party last night.

Our kids may be tired this morning, as they were out very late and intoxicated with sno cones and face body paint.

You should know that late last night, L decided that her paint was itchy and wiped most of it off. It might have been the sugar talking and I think she's having a little hangover remorse over that decision.

You should know that before she wiped it off, she had a badass snake on her lower leg.

You should know that because E is spending so much time admiring and discussing her paint, L has mentally reconstitued her own decorations. You should know that because she might spend the day making her calf muscle hiss at you.

You should know that I've never used the word 'badass' in front of L and she wouldn't know what it meant if she heard it. I promise. However, you know and I know that she lives the spirit of badass, and the snake was just temporary tangible evidence of her badasssery. She was mighty proud of it. (Hence the leg hissing.)

You should additionally know that because L wiped off her paint, E is worried about the possibility that her own paint will become itchy, too. You should know that she and I had a lengthy conversation about how to address such a crisis, should it arise. She is armed with knowledge (use paper towels and water) and a contingency plan (steal baby wipes from her brother).

Speaking of her brother, dear Teachers, um, so remember when we came in on Tuesday and I lifted his shirt and raised the leg of his shorts to show you the bright red splotches all across his body? And I reminded you that it was the day after Fourth of July, and he had been out late with us at the fireworks, and had, in the dark, spoon-fed himself half of L's cherry water ice that she had so kindly put in front of him? And I pointed out his stained skin so that you wouldn't later discover it yourselves and think he had some awful rash and tell me he had to be sent home? Remember I promised it was just generous water ice?

So, yeah. Four days later, look for those same stains. He got into the sno cones, too. Still not a rash, I promise.

Dear Teachers, I always appreciate the work that you do caring for the kids in our center, and especially my crazy monkeys. Please be warned that our sugar-fueled rooftop party had five different moonbounce thingies at it, and the girls spent a good deal of time jumping high and pretending to squash all the buildings on the horizon line. Little rainbow covered Godzillas, they were, and although they would recognize the word Godzilla no more than they would recognize badass, I think you'll agree that they live the spirit of the former just as much as of the latter.

I know that you will care for my sleep-deprived and sugar-depraved crazy monkeys with just as much love as you always do, which is why I felt I had to write you this letter in warning.

With much appreciation,


Robin Pin It