This is not a perfect plan. Human blankets:
- do not hold still to keep your toes covered just so
- will drop food crumbs on you
- will jump with no warning and your sore and tired body because The Electric Company theme song is just that exciting
- might poke you in the face just as you've fallen asleep because of a deep-seated excitement for possessing the vocabulary words "eye," "nose" and (other) "eye"
- are prone to digging in toes or elbows for primacy of their own comfort, not yours
- spontaneously kiss you and whisper sweet nothings like I love you more than bugs, Mama!
force-feedshare with you their beverages, only occasionally by sticking their sippy cup straws up your nose while you sleep
- drool/zerbert your back and explain it's to wash the yucky feelings away
- let you sleep all afternoon, as long as you awaken briefly every 27 minutes to retrieve a new show from On-Demand