Saturday, January 2, 2010

Did you ever

while breathing deeply to remain calm in the very near face of a very loud tantrum; while staring patiently at your daughter and maintaining an expressionless face of your own; while speaking sympathetically to her disturbed plight but without absolving her wrongdoing; while wiping hot tears and noting the temporary red scars their paths trace along her cheeks; while maintaining resolve and calm despite feeling the crumbling of the walls that prop up your own mental sanity; while counting to ten inside and speaking pacifying platitudes outwardly; while thinking that if you knew this particular episode would carry on so long you would have initiated it on the couch instead of at the kitchen table; while wishing that someone could bring you a snack to sustain you; while objectively maintaining your privilege-revoking position; while looking at your daughter so closely for so long that she dissolves from the sum to the parts: the swinging pendulous thing in the back of her throat that you see with each wail, the new hairs at her hairline that are too short to have joined the crowds in her ponytails, the luscious black eyelashes propelling more anger marks down her soft cheeks, the eyes so blue, so wide, so aggrieved;

did you ever notice amongst those features, the angry flare of her nostrils? And that they are not entirely symmetrical?

I was just wondering if that ever happened to you. Pin It