Feminine hygiene

Today I took E to her post-op follow-up appointment, where the ENT pronounced her ears "amazingly gunky, still," earning us another prescription and another invitation to visit, plus the badge of honor for having the ooziest and most persistent ear infection since ears were invented. Then we visited with the audiologist, who thankfully pronounced E's hearing as "fine," which is such a bland description for "miraculously restored to working order after six months of making her parents crazy with the ignoring and the not noticing."

Before we left, E had her ears fitted for custom earplugs because if water gets trapped down in those magic tubes she could set new records for deaf and oozy. The audiologist mixed up some kind of foam that was to harden inside E's ear, forming a perfect mold. She pushed little gray sponges deep into E's ears that had string tails for easy removal, and using a tool like a mini cookie press, squirted the foam into E's ears. She encouraged me to take a picture, saying, "how often do you see your daughter with Play-doh in her ears?"

I thought, however, that it didn't look so much like "Play-doh" as it did "buttercream tampon."

March 24, 2009
Discard only in appropriate receptacle.